Teaching Social Skills: A Guide for Parents

Description

This article illustrates ways to help children learn appropriate behavior.

Research shows that children with good social skills do better in school, get better jobs when they get older, and are generally are more successful than children with poor social skills.

Teaching almost any new skill requires the same 4 basic activities:

Interrupting:

Practice an alternative behavior: Parent-child practice/role play of the desired new skill. With not-interrupting, we recommend teaching your child to gently place his open hand on your forearm. As soon as he does so, gently place your free hand on top of his hand and ask him what he wants. Over time, you can extend the time between when he places his hand on your forearm and when you ask him what he wants. You can bridge the gap in time by gently patting his hand with your hand.

Praise the child for practicing: In order to maintain the child's interest in such practicing, identify a reward that they will work for. Examples of such a reward would be another story at nap or bedtime and extra time spent playing a game during the day. Also be prepared to praise your child whenever they wait appropriately with you or with another adult in public.

Point Out when you or other adults engage in the behavior: When you wait to say something to Daddy, or when you wait to speak to the woman in the store, point out to your child that you are waiting just like you are teaching them to wait, that everyone has to learn how to wait.

Prompt your child when they are about to encounter a situation where they are probably going to have to wait: So, when you go into the deli, tell your daughter that you will both take a number and the woman will wait on you in a minute.

Examples of other Social Skills that you can teach:

Turn taking
Sharing

Turn taking:

Practice or role play taking turns being first in line.
Praise your child for practicing taking turns.
Point out examples of others taking turns in every day situations. At a stop light “The car in front of us has to go first.” At dinner, “It's Daddy's turn to use the salt.”
Prompt your child to wait their turn during a board game or when passing food around the dinner table. These are good opportunities for teaching social skills.

Sharing:

Practice with your child that you are sharing a seat, food, money, etc.
Praise your child for practicing sharing.
Point out examples of sharing in everyday situations. “Mommy is sharing her drink with Daddy”
Prompt your child to share at the dinner table.